As we do from time to time, I was just feeling a little down. Not for any particular reason. Just needed a little boost. I’m not the most prolific writer! So I was wanting to start sharing some more regular short and sweet posts on card draws for you anyway, so it was the perfect time to start. Two cards are all it takes to start a story …
Here’s the 2 cards I just drew from the deck. Before I tell you what they’re named, have a look from left to right (in the order I drew them) and see if you find any ideas developing. Note how you feel about it, and what metaphors come to mind …
The 2 cards are “Card 25 – Unfurling” and “Card 24 – Love”. Now that sound like it could be cute on the surface, because it could be growing relationships, but even ‘by the book’ could actually mean several things both positive and negative (and that’s typical of this deck, of course).
The question was, what did it mean to me, today? What does it mean to you today?
Well, even though I made this deck I still find new combinations of ideas. As I looked from the left to the right one, I didn’t know why but I thought of a train going down a track. Now nothing here looks like a train at all, except maybe the light and tunnel effect, but that’s what I thought. I felt anxious. Wasn’t sure why. But as I thought about it and let the idea gel I knew it had to do with that something’s happening too fast for me. Something was being funneled down a track that only had one direction, and with one single experience at the end … but what?
I suddenly knew it was at least partially my entire life. Life’s been moving so fast. And yet it hasn’t actually ‘gone’ anywhere, of course. There’s been a lot to do. I’m about to go overseas. Much upheaval has happened on a personal level … which brings me to look at the ‘book’ meanings of the cards. Unfurling love. (Love unfurling could mean the same thing or something else … like a love of stretching boundaries). Is it unfurling in a gracious opening of sharing? Or is it actually unraveling? How does this apply (if it does) to what I felt about the train and my life? Using cards in this way, though I say it’s for everyone, is actually very confronting sometimes. It’s really honest. And at this point it made me realise it’s not unraveling. Something inside me knew it wasn’t actually going too fast. It was just hard to get used to it actually going somewhere! That I still have a lot to share. That the person I almost shared the most with is not here anymore and yet while I’m devastated, it strangely doesn’t feel like I’ve been left behind. Is it wrong that it makes me really sad for them and sad for us, but also happy for me that I’m moving on too? Maybe a part of them is still with me. That maybe this part of my life is moving really fast (or feels like it) and I don’t have much time for feeling down, and so be it for now.
Because I suddenly realised that end result with the dew drop/ marble of tiny private world emotion brewing is something to look forward to. Something I want. Stuff building up to enjoy, like a tasty dish. Completely balanced. Matured. It’s not the end of my life I’m rushing towards yet. It’s the birth of something further to share, in some new way, that I’m heading to … even if I don’t know how.